Since most of you voted to know more about personality disorders that are in the "DRAMATIC" cluster, I am going to start off with one of those.
Let's see if you can think of anyone in your life as I rattle of what a HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDERED person is like. Since most people diagnosed with this disorder are female, I will use the pronoun "her" in this post
Ready?
Do you know of anyone who is preoccupied with her looks?
Yes, I know that most of us are concerned. But she will be PREOCCUPIED. Not only that, she will dress provocatively, expose herself, give you seductive looks, and be flirtatious. Yes, sex will often be on her mind.
Do you know of anyone who is uncomfortable unless she is in the center of attention?
Yes, she will act very dramatically as though performing before an audience with exaggerated emotions and expressions, yet appears to lack sincerity. In parties, she will tend to be loud and excited, and will love having her own pictures taken.
Do you know of someone who does not have many friends? Or is constantly getting into fights with the ones she has?
Yes, since she is very needy, and not everyone can constantly give her that assurance, she may skip from one friend to another. She may not be able to form deep relationships and people may gradually notice that she is shallow and immature. She may appear to be self-centered. They often times believe that others have bad intentions towards them.
Do you know of someone who is easily frustrated and impulsive?
She may be easily bored with the same routine, constantly seek excitement, and may begin projects but not be able to finish them. She may make rash decisions and speak or act without thinking.
Do you know of someone who is extremely moody? And needy?
Yes, she will shift emotions rapidly. She may be happy and cheerful one moment, and the moment she is criticized or disapproved of, she will become extremely agitated. She may be very sensitive to everyone's approval and will need constant reassurance that she is liked!! Worst of all, if she does not get the desired attention, she may threaten suicide!
If you know of someone like this, you may also realize that she (or he) may be highly successful socially as well as professionally. They do not lack social skills and tend to glorify their disappointments and failures to seek attention. However, this disorder does interfere with their happiness, often leading to depression. They also have difficulty with successful romantic relationships and friendships, and blame others for their failures!!
Personality disorders begin in early adulthood and gradually become worse with age. It is hard to treat these individuals but not impossible!! If you know of anyone with the above symptoms and feel like you can influence them to go seek help, please do so!!
Feel free to ask me more questions if you want to.
Remember: This was HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Friendship Woes
Have you heard pretty women saying that they are not sure if men want to be their friends because they truly care for them or whether its because they look good and want to hit on them?Have you heard rich men saying that they are not sure if a woman wants to be friends with them because they truly care for them or whether it because they are rich and see them as gold-mines?
Recently, I have begun to experience similar woes...no not because of beauty or money...but because of my profession!
The many woes as a psychologist friend are that:
I will get calls in the middle of the night demanding an interpretation of a weird dream that someone just had but when I have a nightmare and need someone to talk to, people are asleep and unavailable.
I will get pinged in the middle of dinner that my friend needs ideas on how to resolve a fight that she has been having with her husband for a week but when I am lonely on a weekend and need a few minutes of chit-chat, she will be busy utilizing those ideas that I gave her and be unavailable.
I will get text messages from my friend on how to tackle her roommates when they give her a hard time but when I call her to complain about mine, she will be unable to share any words of wisdom because she now lives with her boyfriend and does not want anything to do with roommate talk.
I will get random emails from long-lost friends about resolving a family conflict amongst family members that I have not only not met but never heard about in my entire life but will not get invited for these long-lost friends' weddings.
I truly believe that either we psychologists are born with, or along the way create, a separate area in our brain that is triggered when anyone asks for help. No matter how much I do not like someone or have something else to take care of, I just cannot happen to say no. I wonder if people take undue advantage of that or whether they use their "contacts" to the maximum or whether they have "expectations" that a psychologist friend is there always to help them. I wonder if these "friends" of mine are my friends because I am a psychologist or because I am ME.
In any case, I have realized that there is no point keeping expectations from anyone, no matter what their gender, status, or profession. You can read more about it here.
Sometimes, I wish that I could pretend to be someone else or have an alternate profession just like Saif Ali Khan does in Salaam Namaste. Maybe next time, when a new friend asks me what I do, I will tell him or her that I am a bagger/cashier at the grocery store.
Recently, I have begun to experience similar woes...no not because of beauty or money...but because of my profession!
The many woes as a psychologist friend are that:
I will get calls in the middle of the night demanding an interpretation of a weird dream that someone just had but when I have a nightmare and need someone to talk to, people are asleep and unavailable.
I will get pinged in the middle of dinner that my friend needs ideas on how to resolve a fight that she has been having with her husband for a week but when I am lonely on a weekend and need a few minutes of chit-chat, she will be busy utilizing those ideas that I gave her and be unavailable.
I will get text messages from my friend on how to tackle her roommates when they give her a hard time but when I call her to complain about mine, she will be unable to share any words of wisdom because she now lives with her boyfriend and does not want anything to do with roommate talk.
I will get random emails from long-lost friends about resolving a family conflict amongst family members that I have not only not met but never heard about in my entire life but will not get invited for these long-lost friends' weddings.
I truly believe that either we psychologists are born with, or along the way create, a separate area in our brain that is triggered when anyone asks for help. No matter how much I do not like someone or have something else to take care of, I just cannot happen to say no. I wonder if people take undue advantage of that or whether they use their "contacts" to the maximum or whether they have "expectations" that a psychologist friend is there always to help them. I wonder if these "friends" of mine are my friends because I am a psychologist or because I am ME.
In any case, I have realized that there is no point keeping expectations from anyone, no matter what their gender, status, or profession. You can read more about it here.
Sometimes, I wish that I could pretend to be someone else or have an alternate profession just like Saif Ali Khan does in Salaam Namaste. Maybe next time, when a new friend asks me what I do, I will tell him or her that I am a bagger/cashier at the grocery store.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
I am human!
I think that it is a very normal human tendency to hold on to to the bad and forget the good. Things learned at an earlier age are retained much better than those at an older age. I had written a post on how psychologists are human too and now choose to repost it with a few edits because of a few incidences that occurred in the past few days. Just a gentle reminder to everyone of how I am just like non-psychologists, with the same kind of brain, emotion centers, desires, feelings etc and a reminder to me to not be too hard on myself to be someone who I am not born as, even if people think my profession should make me that way. Know what I mean?
Yes, psychologists are human beings too.When it comes to healthcare, I tend to put doctors on a pedestal. There have often been times when my mother has advised me to eat something while I have a fever and I retorted back to her saying, "Doctor has not said anything about eating that!" Now more and more people are doing that with shrinks. It is not surprising though. When people (especially the first-timers) make that decision to go see a professional for help, its usually after they have tried all else and failed, They then begin to think that only a professional can solve their problems without realizing that we can only assist people in doing so and that those changes need to come from within.
Moreover, people have misconceptions about the things we can do to ourselves! When I was a victim of identity theft three years ago, and lost a lot of money, I was experiencing rage and sadness.
A friend tells me,
"Come on, you have studied psychology so much. Can't you handle yourself?
"Uh no....! I lost some money and feel cheated. Its a hard time!
When I made a mistake about choosing a certain relationship, I was told,
"How come YOU made that mistake of all the people? Surely you knew better!"
Umm...actually not! I do NOT read people's minds and do not know what their intentions are.
And then my personal favorite,
"You counsel so many people. Why can't you counsel yourself?"
Sure! Sounds like a great idea! I will cry one minute on one chair, and then jump onto the other chair and start talking sense with a calm demeanor.
The truth is that when we are in sensitive situations ourselves, no matter what our profession, we are not able to be neutral, nonjudgmental, and clear in our minds. In a fight, if you want me to take sides, I may not be able to do it. I am trained to be empathic to all parties involved. Do you know how hard it is to be that way? Very, very hard!! That's exactly how we do couples counseling too! BLAH! But yeah...if you want to fight with ME, I will not be empathic with you at all!! I am Solitaire then, not a psychologist!
Its funny how people think that because I am a psychologist, I know a lot about teaching, babysitting, nutrition, etc..So I get asked questions like,
"How can I teach my child to read?"
Mmmmm..Maybe ask your child's teacher??
"What kind of a babysitter should I pick for my child?"
Common sense tells me someone you and your child are comfortable with?
"What should I feed my child for better memory?"
My grandmother used to say almonds, so almonds.
The funniest part about all this is that I am not even a child psychologist! But apparently, I am a genius who knows everything about every population. Just like you would go to a gynaecologist if you have a fracture??
The woe of being a psychologist is that people think you are not entitled to the normal emotions that a human being experience. I just got told a few days back by a guy that he was interested in me because I am a psychologist. Reason: His ex-girlfriend was depressed and he could not handle it. This time he wants someone who will never be depressed.
:-s
Yes, psychologists are human beings too.When it comes to healthcare, I tend to put doctors on a pedestal. There have often been times when my mother has advised me to eat something while I have a fever and I retorted back to her saying, "Doctor has not said anything about eating that!" Now more and more people are doing that with shrinks. It is not surprising though. When people (especially the first-timers) make that decision to go see a professional for help, its usually after they have tried all else and failed, They then begin to think that only a professional can solve their problems without realizing that we can only assist people in doing so and that those changes need to come from within.
Moreover, people have misconceptions about the things we can do to ourselves! When I was a victim of identity theft three years ago, and lost a lot of money, I was experiencing rage and sadness.
A friend tells me,
"Come on, you have studied psychology so much. Can't you handle yourself?
"Uh no....! I lost some money and feel cheated. Its a hard time!
When I made a mistake about choosing a certain relationship, I was told,
"How come YOU made that mistake of all the people? Surely you knew better!"
Umm...actually not! I do NOT read people's minds and do not know what their intentions are.
And then my personal favorite,
"You counsel so many people. Why can't you counsel yourself?"
Sure! Sounds like a great idea! I will cry one minute on one chair, and then jump onto the other chair and start talking sense with a calm demeanor.
The truth is that when we are in sensitive situations ourselves, no matter what our profession, we are not able to be neutral, nonjudgmental, and clear in our minds. In a fight, if you want me to take sides, I may not be able to do it. I am trained to be empathic to all parties involved. Do you know how hard it is to be that way? Very, very hard!! That's exactly how we do couples counseling too! BLAH! But yeah...if you want to fight with ME, I will not be empathic with you at all!! I am Solitaire then, not a psychologist!
Its funny how people think that because I am a psychologist, I know a lot about teaching, babysitting, nutrition, etc..So I get asked questions like,
"How can I teach my child to read?"
Mmmmm..Maybe ask your child's teacher??
"What kind of a babysitter should I pick for my child?"
Common sense tells me someone you and your child are comfortable with?
"What should I feed my child for better memory?"
My grandmother used to say almonds, so almonds.
The funniest part about all this is that I am not even a child psychologist! But apparently, I am a genius who knows everything about every population. Just like you would go to a gynaecologist if you have a fracture??
The woe of being a psychologist is that people think you are not entitled to the normal emotions that a human being experience. I just got told a few days back by a guy that he was interested in me because I am a psychologist. Reason: His ex-girlfriend was depressed and he could not handle it. This time he wants someone who will never be depressed.
:-s
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