Friendship Woes

Have you heard pretty women saying that they are not sure if men want to be their friends because they truly care for them or whether its because they look good and want to hit on them?Have you heard rich men saying that they are not sure if a woman wants to be friends with them because they truly care for them or whether it because they are rich and see them as gold-mines?

Recently, I have begun to experience similar woes...no not because of beauty or money...but because of my profession!

The many woes as a psychologist friend are that:

I will get calls in the middle of the night demanding an interpretation of a weird dream that someone just had but when I have a nightmare and need someone to talk to, people are asleep and unavailable.

I will get pinged in the middle of dinner that my friend needs ideas on how to resolve a fight that she has been having with her husband for a week but when I am lonely on a weekend and need a few minutes of chit-chat, she will be busy utilizing those ideas that I gave her and be unavailable.

I will get text messages from my friend on how to tackle her roommates when they give her a hard time but when I call her to complain about mine, she will be unable to share any words of wisdom because she now lives with her boyfriend and does not want anything to do with roommate talk.

I will get random emails from long-lost friends about resolving a family conflict amongst family members that I have not only not met but never heard about in my entire life but will not get invited for these long-lost friends' weddings.

I truly believe that either we psychologists are born with, or along the way create, a separate area in our brain that is triggered when anyone asks for help. No matter how much I do not like someone or have something else to take care of, I just cannot happen to say no. I wonder if people take undue advantage of that or whether they use their "contacts" to the maximum or whether they have "expectations" that a psychologist friend is there always to help them. I wonder if these "friends" of mine are my friends because I am a psychologist or because I am ME.

In any case, I have realized that there is no point keeping expectations from anyone, no matter what their gender, status, or profession. You can read more about it here.

Sometimes, I wish that I could pretend to be someone else or have an alternate profession just like Saif Ali Khan does in Salaam Namaste. Maybe next time, when a new friend asks me what I do, I will tell him or her that I am a bagger/cashier at the grocery store.