All Day Long...

"Don't you go crazy listening to people's problems all day long?"

I get this question all the time.

In the beginning, my answer was yes. I constantly worried about my clients after I had gone home. And I would constantly dread seeing them again because I was sure that my mind would shut down the moment they started talking about their abusive husband, spoilt children, unfair teachers, disloyal friend, and their singlehood. That was the beginning.

Gradually, I learned how to zone them out the moment they stepped out of the office. In fact, I also used to tell my friend jokingly, "I work in a factory!" because I felt like I was producing a new item every hour, one after the other, relentlessly, without any breaks, as clients walked in on time and stepped out exactly 5o minutes later, giving me enough time to write up a progress note and briefly glance over the next person's file.

The problem begins when I drag myself home exhausted and then start getting calls, "I need to talk to you urgently. I had a fight with my boyfriend." or an offliner on yahoo saying, ":( I need free therapy", or worse still, a long email which can be made into a book chapter about how heartbroken my friend is. These are the things that I have not learned to zone out from. Because no matter what, there are more emotions attached when a loved one or a friend is in distress. But when these distresses clearly become a figment of their imagination because free psychotherapy is easily available (long after the problem has been resolved), my emotions change from genuine concern to nonchalance, and ultimately, annoyance.

So how do I do it all day long? The 9 am to 5 pm is the easiest part. It is the rest of the day that becomes challenging. After all, who likes working overtime without being paid or without any appreciation or without getting a break?

P.S: Now I know why I should not call a doctor friend after hours if something can wait until next morning.
And now I understand why my uncle who worked as an engineer in the electricity company hated getting complaints in the middle of the night.

The Truth

Thank you for the strong response to the previous question.

Some of you were a bit off track while some of you were right on target!!

It is very troubling to know that people still believe that its only those who suffer from schizophrenia, personality disorders, suicidal thoughts, and emotionally "unstable" people need to go see a psychologist, or that only those who have no family or friends to solve their problems will benefit from therapy (or "counseling" to reduce the negative connotation that the word therapy holds).

Some responses also suggested that the common belief is that the psychologist will solve your problems or will be the "know-all". This response is inaccurate, sadly. And also puts us on a pedestal. We do not do much hand-holding. We provide all the support that we can in helping you come to a decision when facing a conflict or putting light on the pros and cons of the solutions to your problems. However, we do not do the work for you. In therapy, you have to work hard yourself!!

Here is a list of some of the problems that I have helped people with in recent times.

Helping my client...

• Figure out if he is gay or straight.
• Build social skills to maintain a romantic relationship.
• Get over her grandmother's loss to death.
• Maintain a healthy lifestyle to increase her weight.
• Build her low self-esteem.
• Get over her addiction to eating toilet paper.
• Manage her ADHD.
• Get over his panic attacks.
• With his academic problems including poor motivation.
• Fight his suicidal thoughts and overcome them.
• Have a smooth transition into college from high school.
• Deal with homesickness.
• Resolve family conflicts and improve familial relationships.
• Rebuild trust after having been cheated on.
• Connect to the community resources such as the doctor's office after fearing he had contracted an STD.
• Adjust to the United States
  

And many many more......................including feelings of sadness, guilt, overwhelming anxiety, phobia, job-related stress, post-traumatic stress, alcohol addiction....

Of all the people above, no one can be labeled crazy or mentally unstable, at least not in American terms. But I am sure in India they will be. And plus, the stereotype that I get to hear everytime I tell people about my profession is

"Oh you will make a lot of money. People in America are crazy".

Of all the problems listed above, how many can you identify with? I am sure, at least one.
Let's be fair. If the people listed above are crazy, are you not one of them too?